no..i'm not emofied...
i hurt myself not becuz i'm crazy or anythin...lol...
i'm perfectly sane...
and its not exactly hurting myself with ugly carvings...i mean, carvings are so yesterday....we were so fond of doing it cuz we couldnt afford to tatt....
and now i've found somethin truly blissful...and its kinda sad that i'm only goin crazy over it now...
lol
honestly, i've pierced about 8 times in my whole life...but my skin was so freakin healthy that most of the 'holes' were infected...n now, i'm left with only 4
its good to pierce cuz the pain miraculously healed somethin else...erm, well, not exactly heal, but more like distract...yea, somethin like how aspirins work with headaches
cuz my heartaches...seriously...
i've always thought that heartaches are not real and its only some literal device mushy ppl use a lot...but goddamnit...it hurts like hell...and i fuckin hate it cuz i can't do anythin to stop it...
and no...i do not regret breakin up with ken...though i admit, for the first few days, i did thought that i made the wrong decision...
but he is provin me rite...i see a total stranger in him now...and it makes me wonder if he was really being himself durin the period we were together...
and that hurts me a lot...fuckin 'lot'
i admit i still miss him...i miss the times he called me and we would talk 3 hours straight everynite...(erm, i mean morn)...i miss the hours we spent together....and sadly, i also miss the drunk calls
fuck the drunk calls...whoever said that guys tell the truth when they are drunk....fuck them...they are only more horny...n they talk cock...
i was just....plain....stupid...like some small kid being cheated by the roti man...like the time when u saw the stupid thin wire attachin to superman's back when he flew....disappointment x 10000000000000000000000000...(**i was surprisingly smarter than most kids then, cuz i knew superheroes were fake...so, superman was just some conman to me...lol...i was too busy with my nkotb when they were busy tyin their mothers' scarves to their neck, jumpin from stools tryin to be clark kent...and ended up with swollen lips n ugly bruises...)
and i cannot believe now when i'm 21 i got cheated by some cheap pickuplines n broken promises....
sigh
i need to seriously pierce my ears again this friday...
cuz my heartaches
again