mumuzblog

okie...its final
i've been actin like some fickled minded psychotic bitch for the passed few weeks...
thank u jacq....i'm so glad i've got a great friend like u...
i mean, what i've been doin is just not right...probs can't be solved by pushing the 'erase' button....i'm lettin everythin be as they are now.....its gonna be more painful but at least its not draggy....
and...i've always been the victim of emotional exploitations...lol...yes its that bad....i get caught up in unnecessary dramas...all just becuz i cared too much....n no i didnt poke my nose into their lives...i just get sucked in as some supportin role....
so many things happenin, n i'm prayin hard that i'll get thru them all without fallin into that stupid depression phase again......
~positive mode~
i need tonnes of support!!
kamsamida!

{ ... 에 밀 리 아 ...

lets put it this way...
cheated to me means, insincere...
u gave me the impression that u r insincere...
i noe i shouldnt be thinkin so much...
i duno...but im'ing me at 9 somethin in the morn after NOT im'ing me for a few weeks is really weird...
to add to that, u asked me to listen to this song...

either u r up to somethin OR u r just plain dumb to ask ur ex to listen to it
cuz u told me, we should move on...
so shuddup n dun try to trigger my emotions...

*ps: yes...he sent me the link with the subtitles...argh

{ ... 에 밀 리 아 ...

its a wonder how 3 pcs, 3 flashdrives and 2 mp3 players gt infected with some stupid worm, cuz we reformatted all of them like, a few mths ago....
bloody...
i can't do so many freakin things now cuz i'm so sick of those fuckin bloody worms n all...
we scanned everythin we plugged in...we scanned every file we downloaded...but those bloody thingies still managed to wriggle their ways into our systems...
fuck
2 coursework assignments n a presentation in 2 weeks
fuckfuck
finals in a mths time
fuckfuckfuck

{ ... 에 밀 리 아 ...

=i waited...patiently....for almost 3 mths...and omg...they've been showin it everywhere for a few weeks n everyone has watched it but me=

this sentence is no longer applicable after 12.30pm, 13july07...lol...

cuz

omg...i finally watched transformers!

its a big deal okay?i luv transformers...yes..i do...cuz i dun normally go gaagaa over movies...

n julia was kind enuf to watch it with me...(i thought she luved harrypoooter...but after hearin her "oooooo....ahhhhh....omgggggg...ouch...." reactions in the cinema, i think now she luvs bumblebee more...)

the movie was awesome....our lunch was also awesome cuz we went to gasoline to eat again!i ordered the same thing, marmite fish n snowy choc....julia got influenced with my marmite craze, n so she ordered marmite chicken, n momocha...

^^julia the poser

oh...yea...n i did pierced my ears again today...

its freakin painful....TT________TT

n i feel so like stuffin my head into the freezer...

but its nice....i'm enjoyin the pain at the same time....

i'm not crazy...just read my previous posts...

{ ... 에 밀 리 아 ...

my mistake...
i shouldnt even have greeted him...
i mean, he was most prob like "wtf?she just blogged about being cheated by me n now she is greetin me?"
argh...i really do hate myself sometimes...
i hate the two sides thingy...
no, i don't have multiple personalities goin on...
its just that i've this thought that he might not be as horrible as he portrays himself to be...i thought he could prove to me that i was wrong...
but the absence of his reply this morn smacked me back to reality...
i should just shut up n forget bout all the thoughts of startin over platonically with him...
cuz its really sickenin...bloody sickenin...

{ ... 에 밀 리 아 ...

no..i'm not emofied...
i hurt myself not becuz i'm crazy or anythin...lol...
i'm perfectly sane...
and its not exactly hurting myself with ugly carvings...i mean, carvings are so yesterday....we were so fond of doing it cuz we couldnt afford to tatt....
and now i've found somethin truly blissful...and its kinda sad that i'm only goin crazy over it now...
lol
honestly, i've pierced about 8 times in my whole life...but my skin was so freakin healthy that most of the 'holes' were infected...n now, i'm left with only 4
its good to pierce cuz the pain miraculously healed somethin else...erm, well, not exactly heal, but more like distract...yea, somethin like how aspirins work with headaches
cuz my heartaches...seriously...
i've always thought that heartaches are not real and its only some literal device mushy ppl use a lot...but goddamnit...it hurts like hell...and i fuckin hate it cuz i can't do anythin to stop it...
and no...i do not regret breakin up with ken...though i admit, for the first few days, i did thought that i made the wrong decision...
but he is provin me rite...i see a total stranger in him now...and it makes me wonder if he was really being himself durin the period we were together...
and that hurts me a lot...fuckin 'lot'
i admit i still miss him...i miss the times he called me and we would talk 3 hours straight everynite...(erm, i mean morn)...i miss the hours we spent together....and sadly, i also miss the drunk calls
fuck the drunk calls...whoever said that guys tell the truth when they are drunk....fuck them...they are only more horny...n they talk cock...
i was just....plain....stupid...like some small kid being cheated by the roti man...like the time when u saw the stupid thin wire attachin to superman's back when he flew....disappointment x 10000000000000000000000000...(**i was surprisingly smarter than most kids then, cuz i knew superheroes were fake...so, superman was just some conman to me...lol...i was too busy with my nkotb when they were busy tyin their mothers' scarves to their neck, jumpin from stools tryin to be clark kent...and ended up with swollen lips n ugly bruises...)
and i cannot believe now when i'm 21 i got cheated by some cheap pickuplines n broken promises....
sigh
i need to seriously pierce my ears again this friday...
cuz my heartaches
again

{ ... 에 밀 리 아 ...

its not like i don't wanna forgive him...
i tried...and infact, i told him i did cuz he was practically stalkin me n julia around college...
he said he couldnt sleep... n that he don't wanna lose friends like us...
c.h.i.l.d.i.s.h
totally...
cuz he reminded me of those small kids cryin to their moms after a fight...u noe how they always say "they don't wanna be friends with me anymore..."
i don't end friendships...i'll just treat those i am not comfortable with 'differently'...i'll just talk less when i'm around them...n eugene...welcome to the group
i'm not being mean...but i just won't be able to treat him like how i used to anymore...

{ ... 에 밀 리 아 ...

so addicted to boyslikegirls...
tq sk

{ ... 에 밀 리 아 ...

i need a tan...

seriously

sigh...n unfortunately tofus like me only get to tan my arms...my face will somehow be unaffected...n u noe how retarded that ciplak tan job can get?

but anyways, malacca was nice...

i fell in luv with their cendol, never knew gula melaka can be so omg yummylicious...i attempted to squeeze out the whole bottle into my small innocent bowl of cendol, but my act was abruptly stopped by my cousins...humiliatin it seems...argh...i want my gulamelaka syrup now!

n i was there with the intentions to shop for new flipflops, n tops n bags n earrings n etc etc...

n what did i get?

NADAA...

nothin...argh....simply becuz i see them sellin the same things since last year...same bags, same sandals, same pants...argh....

n why would i buy some top which i can get in kl for a cheaper price...

so....i spent most of my time eatin....forgettin the fact that i seriously need to be stick thin...

sigh....starvin myself for a few days...

^^my luvly cendol...

^^suilin's durian cendol.....

^^chicken + rice balls at famosa...

^^famosa chicken rice shop...adore their interior...

^^the colourful clogs that caught my eye...i think the pic would turn out nicer if i use a decent cam...

^^black n white view of the dutch fort...

^^ can u imagine that the tiny a'famosa was supposed to be overlookin the sea...

whatever happened to it...

^^the dutch fort......

^^view from one of the entrances...

^^the bell tower at the fort...

^^ahem..who's dat guy?what is he doin in my pic??

{ ... 에 밀 리 아 ...

forgive n forget...
those who forget are liars cuz being so ignorant only leads to more pain...keep the past to justify the future...
and forgive is only a word to make u feel better...

{ ... 에 밀 리 아 ...

yeah, i'm havin neckache...my eyes are tired n i really feel like nappin now...
BUT
weeeeeeeee....who gives a damn cuz we had such a great time yesterday....
my darlin grannie finally turned 21...n we took her to Italiannies to celebrate....the last time i met up with all of them was like in March...4 freakin mths...so its really blissful to meet up once again....luv em so much....(it would be perfect if jyotz n mommiekaminii were there...)
and i took so many freakin picz, let them do the talkin le...lol...

^^sharmaine, u r 21!!!!!luv ya lots!

^^ahem....speech time...

^^not fair!my bday cake had only 3 candles...sob sob

^^ lol...n sharmz said she wanna feed us cake

^^mich after ista....

^^lol...i look so retarded ere... i made her feed me twice cuz i didnt like the other pics...:P

^^n so u're thinner than me...lol...

^^sharmz n me....

^^smilez...

^^vinder, sharmz n me...

^^mich n me....(besties for 10yrs n countin!)

^^ista where r u??

and pics of the food we ordered... (i luv the stuffed cheesy mushrooms...yumz)

after dinner, with our tummy filled with yummy food..we went to the sanctuary...
n yeah, i took pics there too...lol...

^^i luv butterflies....

^^sometimes i do hate my camphone...

^^i like this pic the most....

^^i didnt even noe what i was drinkin...

^^amin n ista...aminista

^^kaema, singyee n sharmz

^^amin n me...

^^ this pic was taken when i was dancing with ista under the stars....its so so romantic...

^^ista n me....

.....awesomely memorable nite....i wonder when we can meet up again....sighz....

{ ... 에 밀 리 아 ...

=mr pms eugene=
some ppl can be so freakin annoyin....
i've tried so hard to tolerate him...but gosh...he really pushed the limits today...
n its really unfortunate that i erupted...
he thought i went mad cuz of some little thing...but its more like accumulated annoyance to me... i can be nice if u want me to but there's a border to that....
dun come throwin temper at me just becuz ur cats, dogs n fishes died in the morn...i'm not some floormat...
when i say 'no' to somethin, i mean it...with my very own personal reasons...n i wouldnt want u to know if u r not even close to me.....
dun go decidin what i should and shouldnt do...
fuckin stop being so self-centered cuz its fucky sickenin...
and lastly...if ur social network is dying, dun blame others for not helpin u 'expand' it...
go hide urself in ur own bubble....

{ ... 에 밀 리 아 ...

amazin...
i went back to ipoh a.g.a.i.n....
dad let me drive around finally...
but i was so freakin bored on fri, i went to town to meet up with ken for lunch...
we ate in mc.d cuz he was workin nearby...
n i have alwiz wanted to take a pic of him since long long time ago...n so me being ever so annoyin, snapped a pic of him....

the obviously reluctant face...
well it was pretty weird cuz i was tryin to patch things up a bit....i mean, we're no longer together n thats a fact, but i do not want to lose him as a friend too...

sigh...anyways, i took kevin out to meet wenz, lilian n chris for supper on saturday nite...sis was there too with maran n mira...it was kinda like a surprise cuz i didnt expect them to come...

from left>maran with mira, sis (overactin with her mid finger..=.="), christopher, lilian, liwen, kevin n me

oh pls pardon my sis...lol...she came straight from her company's annual dinner...their theme was rugged n punk...n so she made me do cornrolls for her...she was like half-emo-half-crunk&hiphop...
it took me less than an hour to do her hair...with only hairpins n rubberbands....no spray, no wax, no gel...n totally free of charge cuz i'm such a sweet sister...LOL...
and oh, did i mention that she was voted as the best-dressed for the night?hehe....